Rejoice And Find True Joy : Shelley Chung
Habakkuk 3:17-19 (ESV)
1 7 Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, 18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. 19 God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places. To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments.
Matthew 9:20-22 (ESV)
20 And behold, a women who had suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, 21 for she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.” 22 Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And instantly the woman was made well.
At the end of 2019, I experienced the most difficult storm and I was being tested left and right. I failed many times, and I distracted myself with good grades and indulged in worldly desires. I forgot the power of God’s Love. Here’s a visual description I like to share with my brothers and sisters: “God pulled me out of the pit countless times, but I am continuously digging myself back in and I don’t know how to let go of the shovel.” I distanced myself from God’s presence and lost true joy.
Thankfully, there was a sister in Christ who shared her wisdom with me. She shared a prayer from Habakkuk where I learned that although everything around me fails, I should rejoice in the salvation of the Lord. This reminded me of how I should be walking with Christ. As the deer never looks down, I too should never look away from God.
Afterward, the way I thought about the bible changed. I was constantly hungry for His Word and enjoyed reading the bible 2-4 hours daily in search of more wisdom. However, even with this change, I was still very depressed and my situations were actually getting worse. I questioned God. I would have the same conversation with Him every morning saying, “Lord, I am weak. Can you strengthen me and fill me up with the Holy Spirit today?” I thought that if I read the bible and prayed more my entire life would change, but I experienced that is not how God works.
As I was in this process, a second sister told me I needed to pray. Not a simple prayer like I do every morning, but one where I needed to retreat from the world and get on my knees. A few days later I isolated myself, which gave me a chance to really confess everything before the Lord. I brought up everything that I did wrong, all the pain that was engraved in my heart, and I laid it at the feet of Jesus. At that moment, God reminded me of Matthew 9:20-22 and through these verses, He showed me that I do love Him and have true faith.
I struggled with depression and my relationship with my family weakened, but the joy that Habakkuk reminded me of is far greater. I know that our Father is above suffering and is still loving, still almighty, and still fights for us. I thought I was alone in my suffering, but the Lord was constantly by my side. He even wept with me, reminding me to find rest in Him. His love is strong and never fails.
I would like to conclude with this excerpt from the song, “Your Love Is Strong” covered by Upper Room.
Verse 2
Close enough to hold me near
When fear is crippling
Safe enough to be my home
When my world is crumbling
I have come to know a love
Stronger than the grave, that in my darkest hour
Raised me up from death to life now
In resurrection power
Bridge
Your love, it vanquished all my enemies
It broke the cage that silenced me
And set this songbird free
I sing, for all the love You’ve given me
Rejoice because You’ve chosen me
And called this orphan home